If a guy pushes you in the hallway as he walks by, is he a bully? If someone you thought was your friend starts a rumor about you on Facebook, is she a bully? If someone swipes your milk off your lunch tray while you aren't looking, is that person a bully? Maybe. Maybe not!

All of these things are bad, but one single act does not make a person a bully. Think about it. How many times does a guy punch a friend in the shoulder, not because he is mad, but just to say, "I'm bored." How often does a girl get in an argument with her best friend and swear they'll never talk again, only to be best friends again in a few hours? It happens!

The difference is frequency and intent. "Normal Peer Conflict" is the everyday stuff that happens as kids grow up and figure out who they are and how they fit in. It may sometimes be aggressive, but it is not intended to hurt anyone, and it does not target the same person continuously.

Bullying, though, is intentional - and intentionally mean. Bullies push people around because it makes them feel powerful or strong, and they tend to pick on the same person or group of people continuously.

Now, don't get me wrong: sometimes peer conflict can get out of hand, and, if it happens at school, you can expect that the guys or girls doing it will pay the consequences! But it is important to recognize the difference - and to learn how YOU can better deal with bullies!